One thing I can say definitively about suicide is: “there is no coming back.” If successful, your physical existence ends. Take a moment to consider a couple of things before you shut the door on this life.
Back on January 5th, 2010 at 10:08 p.m. my life changed (read the about page for a glimpse at why) I felt a lot of pain. I felt guilt, remorse, regret, emptiness – a type of pain I’d never felt before.
That night, at 10:08 p.m. – this was the pinnacle of many negative events I had created, and I was feeling the full impact of it. A loss of hope, all energy drained from my body, despair, that night; 10:08 p.m. – a night I will always remember.
If you read my about page, you will have a better understanding of what lead to that fateful night, but was it bad enough to consider suicide? It sure became an option. I’d lay there hoping I wouldn’t awake again, and when that didn’t happen the thought of suicide entered as an option. Never ever experiencing this kind of pain I could see how people considered, even committed suicide. So the logical question is, why didn’t I do it?
Why Didn’t I Commit Suicide?
Pain is a debilitating thing, physical or mental, pain changes your thought patterns. Who considers pain a positive attribute? Nobody, so pain is a negative thing that creates negative feelings. We label Sin as the culprit for these negative feelings.
My thoughts, things I’d done for years which became normal for me, all these things came to a climax that evening of January 5th. I had allowed sin to do what it does best, destroy, and it used me to do it. No excuses I allowed it to happen and now I had to live with the pain.
How about you? Where are you in this cycle of sin?
So again, when I was so close to removing the pain, ridding myself from the guilt, why didn’t I do it?
Sin Gets the Last Laugh
The answer is, I saw Sin clearly. If I snuffed out myself at that point, then sin would get the last laugh. How can I convey to others how sin silently invades their daily lives, and more over how we allow it to do this if I’m not around to convey this message?
This is what sin wants for each of us, it wants to cause turmoil at every turn, it wants you to feel pain, and finally it wants you to destroy yourself.
When you hear the phrase “Sneaky Little Devil” well, now you know what it is.
So, if you commit suicide – how in the world can you tell others your story? You can’t, and here’s the truth: “You can’t change what you did, but you can change what you do.” Doing this you will help others and really piss sin off.
Don’t get angry with sin, that’s what it wants, but get even…better yet become the winner. You can only do this if you stick around to do so.
Out of the Woods
Don’t think once you make this choice that you’re out of the woods. Sin will always, for life, be testing you. It boils down to learning from mistakes, understanding positive and negative energies, in this case we label sin as negative, and helping other to understand their own plights through yours and others experiences.
Oh yes, being human means always being susceptible to those things that can make life challenging – that includes Sin.
Fortunately We Have Choices
The last question I ask is: “what good can you do dead?”
How can you change, who can you help, and whom else will you hurt if you take your life? Once you answer these questions for yourself you’ll have a much clearer picture of – why suicide is not for you.
Yes, many people have taken this path, but maybe they just didn’t understand their choices, maybe they just didn’t know what to do.
Don’t let sin get the last laugh, think about it first, understand what sin is.
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