Doctrines

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    D131 - Marrying is normal and a good thing

    1 Cor 7:9

    Paul said, in 1 Cor 7:9, that

    ‘If they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.’

    Paul knew the dangers of sexual sins. Hence, he was upfront about what a person should do.

    In the old days and some cultures (like the Indian culture), arranged marriage is normal and acceptable. However, in most societies, arranged marriage is an affront to young people. As a result, we have a number of unmarried adults including Christians.

    Getting married and settling down is a normal thing. In Gen 2:18, the Lord said,

    ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’

    Hence, he created the animals as his companion; animals can be important in our lives. Yet, in Gen 2:20, it said that

    ‘for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him.’ And that was when God created a woman.

    Marriage is a good thing and is normal. We encourage unmarried Christian adults to seek opportunity in fellowshipping with other unmarried Christians of the opposite sex. In a biblical sense, we would also not belittle the value of arranged marriages since we have seen good success in them and the practice can be found in the Bible.

    Please see

    • S121 to S131, Sexual immorality, and
    • B73, Do not forbid marriage but marry within the family of God
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    D132 - Marriage is sacred and binding

    Matt 5:32; Mark 10:6-10

    Jesus did not advocate divorce. In fact, he said,

    ‘everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery.’ (Matt 5:32).

    A marriage oath is a vow of commitment and ‘until death do us part’ is part of the whole deal. Jesus said in Matt 5:34, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfill your vows to the Lord.’

    See also

    • B262, Make a promise, keep a promise
    • B75 to B94 relating to marriage and family, and specifically,
    • B73, Do not forbid marriages but marry someone within the family of God.
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    D133 - Marriage is between a man and a woman

    Matt 19:5-6; Mark 10:6-8

    In Matt 19:5-6 and Mark 10:6-8, Jesus made it clear that a marriage is between a man and a woman – two persons of different sexes from birth.

    ‘But from the beginning of creation, God MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE. “FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.”‘ (Mark 10:6-8)

    In our current confusing politically correct days in redefining values according to what we consider as right and wrong, it is important to make this explicit.

    See also

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    D134 - The only ground for divorce is sexual immorality (unfaithfulness)

    Matt 5:32; Matt 19:9; Mark 10:10-12

    Jesus did not advocate divorce. In fact, he said,

    ‘everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery.’ (Matt 5:32).

    The only ground for divorce is unfaithfulness. Jesus repeated the same teaching in Matt 19:9.

    Jesus made this transparent so that there is no misinterpretation. See S121 to S131 on Sexual Immorality.

    The fact we witness divorced Christians and even divorced Christian ministers does not mean that it is endorsed in the Bible. It represents the weaknesses of men (and women) that this happens.

    Jesus said in Matt 19:8

    “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.”

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    D135 - A Christian who remarries another not because of sexual immorality commits adultery

    Matt 5:32; Matt 19:9;

    ‘A person who remarries another other than on the ground of sexual immorality is an adulterer. Jesus said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery.’ (Matt 19:9).

    It is a straightforward statement.

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    D136 - A widow/ widower can marry again

    1 Cor 7:8-9, 39

    Widows and widowers are permitted to remarry.

    The Apostle Paul clarified in 1 Cor 7:8-9. 1 Cor 7:39 says,

    ‘A wife is bound as long as her husband lives but if her husband is dead she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.’

    In other words, widows and widowers are to find a believing spouse.

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    D137 - Singleness (Celibacy) is not for everyone

    Matt 19:11-12; 1 Cor 7:9

    Paul said, in 1 Cor 7:9, that

    ‘If they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.’

    Paul knew about sexual temptation because sex is natural and part of all things good from God.

    Jesus shared the same view earlier on in Matt 19:11-12 –  

    “Not everyone can accept this word,” Jesus answered, “but only those to whom it has been given.  For there are eunuchs who were born that way; others were made that way by men; and still others live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

    Celibacy is not for everyone. Hence, as far as possible, find a spouse and marry.

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